The Mom Test: validate without lying to yourself

Validation is where founders fool themselves. You describe the idea, people are nice, you hear “oh that sounds great,” and you walk away with false confidence. The Mom Test — from Rob Fitzpatrick’s small, essential book — is the fix: ask questions even your mum couldn’t lie through, because they’re about her life, not your idea.

The rule: never pitch, always dig

The shift is simple. Stop asking about your idea. Ask about their past. “Do you have this problem?” invites a polite yes. “Walk me through the last time this happened” forces a real story. Facts about what people have actually done beat opinions about what they might do, every time.

• Ask about past behaviour, not future intentions.
• Talk about their life, not your solution.
• Listen for what’s implied, not just what’s said — hearing isn’t listening.

Become a people person

Every good founder is one. People love to talk about themselves, so let them — your job is to be curious about their problem, not to defend your baby. And grow your network while you’re at it: a warm introduction beats cold outreach every time. Cold email converts at under 3%, so get creative about who can introduce you.

What real demand looks like

Words are cheap; behaviour isn’t. Validation is a ladder of signals, each one heavier than the last:

1. People reply and give you their time.
2. People start chasing you.
3. People ask to be kept in the loop.
4. People offer to help.
5. People ask if they can place an order.
6. People actually pay you.

Attention is the currency. It takes roughly ten genuine touchpoints before someone seriously considers something new, so don’t mistake one nice conversation for proof.

Where AI helps — and where it can’t

AI won’t have the conversation for you. But it’s a sharp coach beforehand and a tireless analyst after. Before: have it pressure-test your questions so you don’t ask leading ones. After: feed it your notes and ask it to find the patterns across ten interviews — the recurring pain, the exact words people use, the demand signals you missed in the moment.

You're a customer interview coach trained on Rob Fitzpatrick's "The Mom Test". My idea: [one line]. Give me 8 interview questions that ask about the person's PAST behaviour and real problems — never about my idea, never hypothetical, never leading. For each, note the bad version I'd be tempted to ask and why it would produce a useless compliment. End with 3 signals in their answers that would mean genuine demand vs polite interest.

Once the pattern is real, the next question is how big the opportunity is — sizing your market.